Scoundrel's Luck

Boom Goes the Dynamite
Command Center, The Facility

From Wojo’s stream of consciousness:

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High Alert
Main Level, The Facility

From Wojo’s stream of consciousness: Neralli and I stay hidden in the armory with Arrik for protection while Harris, Knup, and Darwin head out into the hallway (still in uniform, of course) to take a peak at the goings-on. When they return, they tell us that there is quite a bit of storm trooper activity and that it seems pretty chaotic. Everyone is on high alert, not surprisingly. Harris suggests that even though he, Knup, and Darwin drew no attention from the troopers, Neralli and I might raise some eyebrows. And unfortunately we will both be needed upstairs.

Harris starts in on my horns again. He claims that nobody likes my storm trooper outfit with my extra-large helmet. I explain to him that it worked just fine for getting me into this mess, and I ask him why it is suddenly an issue now. He offers no satisfactory explanation. He only begs me to allow him to cut off my horns so my head will fit into a normal storm trooper helmet. And of course he claims that he will replace them with bigger ones later. I am no doctor but I know for sure that it doesn’t work that way. His obsession with cutting off my horns must be some kind of jealousy issue. I decide to be the bigger man (in more ways than one) and just let it slide this time.

So it looks like I’m going to have to remove my storm trooper gear and join Neralli as a fake prisoner. Darwin conceals my pistol somewhere on my person. I’d rather have Knup do this, because he is a magician at that sort of thing, but he is too consumed with the Darkness to be of much help. Meanwhile, more evidence of a budding romance between Harris and Neralli is taking place as Harris awkwardly tries to hide a weapon on Neralli. I watch as Harris licks his fingers and then rubs them through his eyebrows. Arrik laughs and says something about “Rule 34.” Rule 34 must be some kind of Imerpial law or something. I’m not sure how it applies to this situation. I will do a holonets search for it later if we don’t die.

We step out into the hallway and make our move. Harris and Darwin, in their officer’s uniforms, take the lead. Neralli and I are in the middle as prisoners, and Knup and Arrik are bringing up the rear as guards. We need to get Neralli to a computer terminal in the command center. With our officer’s code cylinder she should be able to figure out how to override the alarm and find the exact location of the Darkness and the Light.

Storm troopers are everywhere, headed in all different directions. No one seems to have any idea what is going on. The door heading to the hangar bay is now heavily guarded. The troopers all seem to be eager to take a peak at the carnage down there. We seem to go completely unnoticed as we head for the stairs to the command center. We pass a pair of guards standing in front of a heavy duty set of doors. Another hangar bay, perhaps? They watch us go by but don’t leave their posts.

Eventually we reach a corridor. Harris gestures that this is the place. We move carefully down the corridor and around a corner. There we find a locked door, strangely unguarded. We all gather around Neralli as she quickly unlocks the door. She really is a whiz at the whole door-unlocking thing. Good thing. I sometimes get trapped in my own fresher, and I know Knup grew up in a house without locks, or doors, for that matter.

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Black Magic Evil
Armory, The Facility

From Wojo’s stream of consciousness: As usual, we find ourselves in a tight situation with no plan. And of course, nobody has any ideas. Knup closes his eyes and goes into Force Mode.

KNUP: "Upstairs, at the very top of this place… I feel Light, and, and… "

HARRIS: “…the Darkness! Black magic evil mothaf*ckas?”

Knup nods his head in agreement. Looks like we will be dealing with some seriously bad dudes.

Harris says something stupid to Neralli, and she becomes super-duper pissed. Arrik claims that the two of them fight like a married couple. If I ever fought like that with my lovely wife Nelsa Loy, I think she would literally tear me limb from limb. She is kind of aggressive.

After the fight, Harris and Darwin approach me with the best idea I have ever heard: We should rig the armory to explode just in case our yet-to-be-created plan doesn’t pan out. I am delighted to oblige them. I feel a little bit bad for Darwin, because all of the weaponry in here belongs to him. But I really, really hope I get to blow this place up.

While I rig the explosives, Neralli finds a computer terminal and discovers that the facility alert level has gone from green to yellow and that large numbers of troopers are headed to the site of the massacre. Looks like they are on to us.

Harris and Knup assume their pseudo-command positions and come up with a “plan.” Using the map on the computer terminal, Knup decides that the Darkness and the Light that are exciting his tingly parts are coming from the same place: the command center upstairs. Harris works out the logistics. We are to march upstairs against the torrent of storm troopers, overthrow the command center, turn off the alarm, kill the Darkness, and rescue the Light. Then escape and find the Escalade. He does not work out any of the details. Much to my shock and horror, Arrik does not interject. We must truly be screwed.

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Kuat bound
Can't you guys go to hyperspace once without shooting something?

You crew has a lovely lunch, and the bantha steaks are as good as you would have hoped. Just like home, De.
De’kar: sniffs

When you return to the ship, the wheat has been delivered, and Vula has it all safely packed into the cargo bay.
De’kar: “wow – nice job Vula.” and hands her a to-go box with a bantha steak, sweet potatoes, and a slice of apple pie.
Vula: “Ooooh thanks, I’m starving. I’m going to go wash up and then eat this” she bounces off to wash her hands

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We are the best
The best at space!

So you have about two days of hyperspace travel ahead of you.
Quick synopsis of how you spend your time?

Ren: (Tinkering. Drinking. Complaining.) Kenzi: Kenzi spends most of the time tidying, also searching for any more, um, surprises that Errant Venture might have for us. Vula: (Cleaning up Abe, pooping)

ABE: (Searching files to get updated…and being cleaned)

Kenzi: He also suggests that the mechanically minded among us might try to tweak our transponder codes De’Kar: 1) reading about WTF happened since I went to sleep.

2) asking about WTF happened since he went to sleep.
3) looking for a charge adapter for his blasters…
4) hiding and scareing the bothan for no good reason other than to make sure he still can.
oh – and drinking lots of water.

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Reroute all power to the Pewing devices
That's their technical name.

Vula: “Hey new guy you blind” – flashes her chest for a second “Can you see these?”
Kenzi: Kenzi is nearly struck blind.
Ren: Ren’s face fur ripples in distaste at the sudden sight of Vula’s disgustingly hairless chest.
“What is the matter with you?”
Kenzi: “Um… yeah. Put those away, please.” He looks disgusted with himself.
Vula: Vula snorts with laughter “So sensitive!”
De’Ker: “from the sound of it, I just missed some skin. but I confess I am more worried about my own skin than anything else right now. who are you people?”
Ren: “Pirates,” Ren deadpans.
Kenzi: “That’s Ren,” he says, a bit apologetically. “I’m Kenzi, and she’s Vula. What’s your name?”
De’Ker: “I’m De’kar.”
Kenzi: “Pleasure to meet you, De’kar. You aren’t in any danger here. Though I wonder how you got here in the first place.”
“Nice to meet ya” Vula waves… then remebers he can not see so she pats him on the head
De’Ker: “I might shed some light on that, if I can get some better bearings on what I’ve missed.”
“so – what’s happened in the last 17 years, who won the war?”
Kenzi: “Well… the Republic did. Sort of.”

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Carbonite and the Non Squishy Device
It keeps us from dying!

So currently, they sit in the cargo bay of their ship, surrounded by a pile of broken droid parts with a panel removed from the wall.

Kenzi regards the datajack. “Do we have a datapad or anything that’ll access this? Or do we need a droid?”

The three of you crowd around the dataport, and Vula gently wipes away the layer of droid lubricant covering the connections. It’s definitely a droid jack.

Ren: “Datapad would be impressive for this connection,” Ren comments.

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Rapscallions
Armory, The Facility

From Wojo’s stream of consciousness: Harris and Darwin don the officer’s uniforms. I’m very much surprised that the unis are wearable, especially the one that came off of the guy that Darwin nuked. Harris explains to Darwin that the syringe he stabbed into his neck provided him with “sh*t-tons” of healing. I do not know if this is more or less than “sh*tloads”, but in any case Darwin seems to recover a great deal of strength.

Neralli uses the code cylinder to access the floor plan on the computer console. The floor plan map displays the location of all of the storm troopers. They apparently are tagged with transponders so that their movements can be more easily coordinated by their superiors. There are many, many storm troopers on the first floor, which is our destination. To this Knup says “Oh, f*ck me, man!” I think that pretty much sums up everyone’s feelings on the subject.

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"I Shall Avenge You"
Inside the Facility

From Wojo’s stream of consciousness: We clamber down a spiraling staircase into a short hallway with a door on one end. Harris peeks through the door and then signals for us to follow him. Through the door is the interior of some kind of underground hangar. Immediately my attention is caught by what appears to be a TIE bomber, but heavily modified. I really want to get a close look at it.

There are several storm troopers and two officers in the hangar. They all turn to us as soon as we enter. Harris addresses the officers directly: “We have been ordered to inspect this area due to a potential security breech.” One of the officers, who is standing by a large computer console on the far side of the hangar, activates an alarm. What an asshole. I, for one, thought that Harris was very convincing as a security patrol leader.

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Making an Entrance
The Perimeter

From Wojo’s stream of consciousness: We continue to fly casually toward what I believe might be our impending doom. This inquisitor that Knup describes sounds pretty terrifying, and I’m not totally convinced that our storm trooper guise is gonna hold up under any kind of scrutiny. That’s why I’m relieved when Knup, who has been unusually quiet, suddenly clears his throat and announces to the party (except for Darwin) that he now has a clearer reading on the black hole of evil that he sensed earlier, and that its source is more likely inside the facility rather than somewhere along the road. Harris shows sudden interest in Knup’s ability to read the force. I hear parts of a conversation that goes something like this:

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